like an arrow that cant be removed~

just when i thought i've overcome what i've always feared, something else occurred.. making me lose my confidence again.. i've made a decision, i've chosen a path to forget all that's ever happen and move on.. but just as i was able to release my doubts, i was crushed again.. i dont understand! why why why??!! blaming it all on me.. this is not what i wanted, i never wanted it to go this way.. not now..

who understands what i mean? only those who encounter this case before.. i want to save my own humiliation, by not saying the wrong things to the wrong person.. i have limited words is because the words i want to use are not included.. they cant be included it is not meant for people who are hideous on the inside.. so, what do you expect me to say? to you, words may not mean anything, not even the slightest emotion; but to me, every word represents something like a promise..

anybody want to try to be in my shoes? it isnt easy, and if you are me, you'll surely understand why.. its aches to move on, it aches to let go, it aches no matter what i do.. nothing seems to go right.. not now, not ever.. everything is like a show, but now the curtains should be closing already.. go on, take a bow and leave..


TAKE A BOW -- Rihanna
Ohh, how about a round of applause
Yeah, standing ovation
Oooh ohh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You’re so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

An’ don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talkin’ about, girl, I love you, you’re the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on (ohh)

And don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Ohh, and the award for best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let’s hear your speech out

How about a round of applause
A standing ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

But it’s over now