oh my gawd! i feel so so so sleepy!
i so want to lay on the bed and sleep all day.
sleep until i am totally refreshed.
but i dont think i have the time! T'T
i am quite curious,
my friends and i,
all are involved in the Raptai,
but why they are not so tired?
why are they still so 'semangat' everyday?
really curious why i cant be like them. haiz!
i think MAYBE it is because i meet with more teachers than them. xD
apply this and apply that.
i quite like doing my job,
but it can be really frustrating sometimes.
weird, am i? =P
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
failure~
i thought i'd be good at it.
i thought im able to change them.
to teach them and to help them.
but they never listen.
i was talking in front and they are talking at the back.
let them proceed with practical and they know nothing.
i was teaching with all my heart in front.
my gawd! but i dont want to scold them.
i dont want to say a word.
they are bad enough already.
such a failure. haiz.
i dont think i put hope in them.
no heart at all.
some are willing to learn.
but others just come for fun.
ridiculous.
i thought im able to change them.
to teach them and to help them.
but they never listen.
i was talking in front and they are talking at the back.
let them proceed with practical and they know nothing.
i was teaching with all my heart in front.
my gawd! but i dont want to scold them.
i dont want to say a word.
they are bad enough already.
such a failure. haiz.
i dont think i put hope in them.
no heart at all.
some are willing to learn.
but others just come for fun.
ridiculous.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
mamma mia~
bah! this post is just crap.
write for fun punya. xD
came online and decided to go play the game yj introduced me, pet society. xP
a kinda childish game after i tried playing it.
haha. but at least better than sitting around doing nothing.
and a very silly thing was that yj & hk suggested that i name my pet ==> hot 'N' spicy
xD lol. that's for a specific reason.
a secret too. haha. the reason is very lame.
i think i rather name my pet hanzi more than hot 'N' spicy.
but than again, hot 'N' spicy is better than kiam kiam, FATberry, lorry and lipas.
haha. yj, hk, hg & zy, am i right? =DD
[ps. this entry is really pure crap! =D ]
write for fun punya. xD
came online and decided to go play the game yj introduced me, pet society. xP
a kinda childish game after i tried playing it.
haha. but at least better than sitting around doing nothing.
and a very silly thing was that yj & hk suggested that i name my pet ==> hot 'N' spicy
xD lol. that's for a specific reason.
a secret too. haha. the reason is very lame.
i think i rather name my pet hanzi more than hot 'N' spicy.
but than again, hot 'N' spicy is better than kiam kiam, FATberry, lorry and lipas.
haha. yj, hk, hg & zy, am i right? =DD
[ps. this entry is really pure crap! =D ]
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
good for me? hope so~
wakaka. i finally finished half of my "mountaineous" homework! dont need so pekchek edi. can online chit-chat. in the class, the teacher always says " now class, stop chit-chatting and do your work! " aiyoyo. so today i did my work, not her work. i was doing add math in math class. haha. the next monthly test is coming, and im not prepared at all. i never tried the add math paper before, so i got no idea how to do the questions. fyi, my add math homework was never doned by me, i just 'photocopied' my friends' papers. unless i like that topic very much then i'll do it. what to do? sports day is next week, rehearsals bla bla bla. sure will eat a lot of time. hope i can finish my homework and get better results in my studies~! =)
humour? ~
why do you think this is dented?
oohh, so you noticed..
who says?
you were saying?
math pro? not me
any thing to complain? haha
nice limo for someone living there
i dont mind the cockroaches getting cancer, do you?
pick, A or B?
please read the sign! =)Tuesday, March 24, 2009
a good laugh~
still tired and kept 'fishing' in class today. hk says that we all seem to be suffering from concussion after coming back. and i think i agree with her. we were all blur and our eyes were half-closed. haha =D and i found a way to get rid of the sleepiness. hk and i went to give out the meeting agenda today, and we told a senior about our torturing days. we laughed and laughed at the thought of all the jokes or funny incidents that happened there. both of us laughed our heads off whereas our senior seems to be laughing at the sight of us laughing. xD i laughed till my tears came out. (not exaggerating) and after that, i felt much better, dont feel sleepy anymore. haha. so i think i need to thank my 'ah tao' for letting me give out the agenda and have a good laugh! xD
Monday, March 23, 2009
ATC? ~
my head aches like hell once i came back from camp yesterday. i cant feel my whole body. i cant move my legs, i cant move my fingers. that feeling was so scary. the camp was ATC (Adult Training Camp), held at kwang hua private. no offence, but i'd like to take that camp as A Torturing Camp.
i feel ever so anxious. i was so afraid that i would fail the stations. (note: there were 9 stations in total) so so scary. i think half of the reason why i was so anxious is because no matter which station i go, they'll say : "this is CS de" abo is "you are CS right, can give harder one la ho?" my gawd! give me a break. so tension! i was so relaxed until they said that, i can feel that my heart dropped to my stomach! aduei~ im not so professional. i only know theory i suppose, im not good at practical. = =
and the worse thing, i was too tired on the last day. straight after the VIP finished his speech, i dropped. frankly, i never thought i would drop. i was shocked, and according to my schoolmates, they were all shocked too. hehe. i think im really weak, need more physical training. i mean in sports! not foot drill or what-so-ever. T^T xD
i feel ever so anxious. i was so afraid that i would fail the stations. (note: there were 9 stations in total) so so scary. i think half of the reason why i was so anxious is because no matter which station i go, they'll say : "this is CS de" abo is "you are CS right, can give harder one la ho?" my gawd! give me a break. so tension! i was so relaxed until they said that, i can feel that my heart dropped to my stomach! aduei~ im not so professional. i only know theory i suppose, im not good at practical. = =
and the worse thing, i was too tired on the last day. straight after the VIP finished his speech, i dropped. frankly, i never thought i would drop. i was shocked, and according to my schoolmates, they were all shocked too. hehe. i think im really weak, need more physical training. i mean in sports! not foot drill or what-so-ever. T^T xD
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
relieved? ~
feeling really weird these few days.
feeling so sick?
feel like sleeping whole day with no worries.
going to camp tomorrow,
homework not done,
things not packed.
[left my homework somewhere else T^T]
[so i finish my homework in time]
i miss those relaxing days in junior high,
senior high is stressing me out.
new subjects, more vocab,
more homework, new lifestyle.
[a new lifestyle as in more work, less sleep]
and my mum is nagging about the activities im participating in.
saying that i participate in too many competitions, bla bla bla.
she just gave me a long lecture yesterday,
and kept comparing me to her friend's daughter who got 7As in PMR
[7 straight As, no BC]
duh! earth-to-mum! its not like i didnt get straight!
i got 8As la. my gawd!
and my dad gave me a quiz to fill in today.
the quiz is from his company's website.
if i pass the 'quiz', i'll be entitled to get the academic excellency award or something.
arghh! my head is exploding.
i thought 2009 is going to be fun.
who knew, 2009 is like a living hell!
max. 1 day out of 10 days, im happy.
the rest is just stressful.
... so tired ...
feeling so sick?
feel like sleeping whole day with no worries.
going to camp tomorrow,
homework not done,
things not packed.
[left my homework somewhere else T^T]
[so i finish my homework in time]
i miss those relaxing days in junior high,
senior high is stressing me out.
new subjects, more vocab,
more homework, new lifestyle.
[a new lifestyle as in more work, less sleep]
and my mum is nagging about the activities im participating in.
saying that i participate in too many competitions, bla bla bla.
she just gave me a long lecture yesterday,
and kept comparing me to her friend's daughter who got 7As in PMR
[7 straight As, no BC]
duh! earth-to-mum! its not like i didnt get straight!
i got 8As la. my gawd!
and my dad gave me a quiz to fill in today.
the quiz is from his company's website.
if i pass the 'quiz', i'll be entitled to get the academic excellency award or something.
arghh! my head is exploding.
i thought 2009 is going to be fun.
who knew, 2009 is like a living hell!
max. 1 day out of 10 days, im happy.
the rest is just stressful.
... so tired ...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
my hols~
55555555555!
i thought i can concentrate on my homework for 5days before i go to camp. but who knows, today is the 4th day and my homework is not even half way through! T'T cham lo!
saturday, went for a so called 'meeting' at area, but what happened after that, i really cant remember.. =.= i think i've got problems with my memory. cant remember anything lately.
sunday, went to hq for training. meeting + training till 1pm. went home, took my lunch and slept till 7pm. =D good sleeper, dont you think? xD then i did half of my tuition homework.
monday, my gosh! 7 people came over for practice! = = really scary and tiring. all like goong goong like that and teaching really needs patience! i nearly gave up. gawd, they are so hard core! [no offence] went to tuition at night finishing the homework just in time. xD
tuesday, going to tuition in the afternoon since i cant go this friday. after that, going to buy some materials for my camp! dont really feel like going to this camp anymore. really tired and my studies are really far behind. T'T
thursday till sunday, im gonna be at camp. hopefully not the worst camp. and also hopefully, we'll get enough sleep. no midnight trainings, please! =.=
i thought i can concentrate on my homework for 5days before i go to camp. but who knows, today is the 4th day and my homework is not even half way through! T'T cham lo!
saturday, went for a so called 'meeting' at area, but what happened after that, i really cant remember.. =.= i think i've got problems with my memory. cant remember anything lately.
sunday, went to hq for training. meeting + training till 1pm. went home, took my lunch and slept till 7pm. =D good sleeper, dont you think? xD then i did half of my tuition homework.
monday, my gosh! 7 people came over for practice! = = really scary and tiring. all like goong goong like that and teaching really needs patience! i nearly gave up. gawd, they are so hard core! [no offence] went to tuition at night finishing the homework just in time. xD
tuesday, going to tuition in the afternoon since i cant go this friday. after that, going to buy some materials for my camp! dont really feel like going to this camp anymore. really tired and my studies are really far behind. T'T
thursday till sunday, im gonna be at camp. hopefully not the worst camp. and also hopefully, we'll get enough sleep. no midnight trainings, please! =.=
empty~
i feel so empty.
like nothing's inside.
my mind is blank.
im filled with emptiness
feels so strange.
i shouldnt be empty,
i shouldnt feel so idiotic,
i should feel the freshness,
i should feel happy and warm.
i making a fool out of myself.
why would i do that?
truthfully, i dont know.
why am i troubled?
i dont know.
i just dont want to feel so empty,
so silly, so pathetic.
like nothing's inside.
my mind is blank.
im filled with emptiness
feels so strange.
i shouldnt be empty,
i shouldnt feel so idiotic,
i should feel the freshness,
i should feel happy and warm.
i making a fool out of myself.
why would i do that?
truthfully, i dont know.
why am i troubled?
i dont know.
i just dont want to feel so empty,
so silly, so pathetic.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
trouble trouble~
power. the root to all problems.
people like power.
to control, to take over, to rule.
but did they know,
behind a true ruler,
is hard work and sacrifice?
PROPER hard work,
not crimes to get to the top.
REAL sacrifices,
not sacrifices for their own advantage.
OR
helping, or advising,
is that because they want to prove their knowledge?
to be known? to get the credit?
is that the real side of a human?
everything we do,
we must help not only ourselves,
but others along the way.
not necessarily needing the credit.
why does the term 'power' troubles so many people?
not everyone is eager for power.
but some is so eager until they are willing to do anything.
why go through the trouble for 'power',
when 'power' will only cause more trouble?
weird? i think so
people like power.
to control, to take over, to rule.
but did they know,
behind a true ruler,
is hard work and sacrifice?
PROPER hard work,
not crimes to get to the top.
REAL sacrifices,
not sacrifices for their own advantage.
OR
helping, or advising,
is that because they want to prove their knowledge?
to be known? to get the credit?
is that the real side of a human?
everything we do,
we must help not only ourselves,
but others along the way.
not necessarily needing the credit.
why does the term 'power' troubles so many people?
not everyone is eager for power.
but some is so eager until they are willing to do anything.
why go through the trouble for 'power',
when 'power' will only cause more trouble?
weird? i think so
all over again~
haiz. i thought everything's over.
i thought im free.
i thought i dont need to worry about all this anymore.
i thought i can concentrate on my studies already.
but i was wrong.
its not over.
i still have to go through all this all over again.
i still remember,
i swore not to let myself go through all this trouble,
i swore im never going to be part of this again.
and yet, what am i doing now?
i think its suicide.
i know this is the chance of a lifetime.
i might not have a second go.
but can i let go?
can i quit?
im tired, i want to rest.
why take the trouble when i can have peace?
i dont know.
i want to talk.
but who will borrow me their ears?
who is willing to hear what i've got to say?
i thought im free.
i thought i dont need to worry about all this anymore.
i thought i can concentrate on my studies already.
but i was wrong.
its not over.
i still have to go through all this all over again.
i still remember,
i swore not to let myself go through all this trouble,
i swore im never going to be part of this again.
and yet, what am i doing now?
i think its suicide.
i know this is the chance of a lifetime.
i might not have a second go.
but can i let go?
can i quit?
im tired, i want to rest.
why take the trouble when i can have peace?
i dont know.
i want to talk.
but who will borrow me their ears?
who is willing to hear what i've got to say?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
weird
feeling weird.
feeling strange.
cant feel myself.
like i've lost it.
i dont know what's coming ahead.
i dont want to know.
because it is not what i wanted.
i'll feel terrible?
hope not.
i want to be myself again.
the me that i lost quite some time ago.
but i think i cant erase everything.
='(((
tomorrow is the first day of the sukan saringan.
i got 2 events.
400m and 4x400m.
wish me luck..
feeling strange.
cant feel myself.
like i've lost it.
i dont know what's coming ahead.
i dont want to know.
because it is not what i wanted.
i'll feel terrible?
hope not.
i want to be myself again.
the me that i lost quite some time ago.
but i think i cant erase everything.
='(((
tomorrow is the first day of the sukan saringan.
i got 2 events.
400m and 4x400m.
wish me luck..
Sunday, March 8, 2009
BBQ at hkhim's house!
went to hkhim's house today.
to barbeque! her invitation was kinda sudden.
but thanks for inviting me,
i really had a great time! =D
[sorry ah ci, havent upload the pics, cant find my cable xD]
when we were there playing, we've formed a gang.
and the gang name is so so so zadao ==> 丐帮! xD
帮主 --> engseng
副帮主 --> zhiyin
长老 --> yjing
会员 --> shanci, hkhim, nyeehuey, zhihan, huigee, tenghan
supplier --> thuansong
haha. and the reason for that name is a secret! shhh!
as they always say,
the ones who loves to eat are surely good in 'making' food.
yjing was so good is barbeque-ing the chicken wings! xD
so nice! haha. yjing next time must cook roasted chicken instead! =D
went home at around 11++
really had a great day!
hope to go there again!
thanks ah khim! =)
to barbeque! her invitation was kinda sudden.
but thanks for inviting me,
i really had a great time! =D
[sorry ah ci, havent upload the pics, cant find my cable xD]
when we were there playing, we've formed a gang.
and the gang name is so so so zadao ==> 丐帮! xD
帮主 --> engseng
副帮主 --> zhiyin
长老 --> yjing
会员 --> shanci, hkhim, nyeehuey, zhihan, huigee, tenghan
supplier --> thuansong
haha. and the reason for that name is a secret! shhh!
as they always say,
the ones who loves to eat are surely good in 'making' food.
yjing was so good is barbeque-ing the chicken wings! xD
so nice! haha. yjing next time must cook roasted chicken instead! =D
went home at around 11++
really had a great day!
hope to go there again!
thanks ah khim! =)
Friday, March 6, 2009
the end! =D
yesterday was the last day.
my TR days are over.
i went back to class today.
i felt so abnormal. haha
long time since i last pinned my hair up,
and wore my pinafore.
it has also been a long time since i last wore my white shoes! xD
feel so strange.
now, im back to who i was.
a Form4 student, going to school,
staying in class and hopefully, pay attention to my lessons.
i still feel very sleepy and tired today.
and i hadnt written a word since last saturday.
so my writing is so .. *yuck*!
anyways, i feel quite happy to be back in class.
need to catch-up with last few weeks' homework.
i can also chit-chat with my friends,
so need to catch up with what they are saying and what's the latest news. xP
last and finally, i can keep my neighbour, aka, my best girlfriend,
all to myself again! cant help letting her 'berlaku curang' another week with my 'other' neighbour. = =
my TR days are over.
i went back to class today.
i felt so abnormal. haha
long time since i last pinned my hair up,
and wore my pinafore.
it has also been a long time since i last wore my white shoes! xD
feel so strange.
now, im back to who i was.
a Form4 student, going to school,
staying in class and hopefully, pay attention to my lessons.
i still feel very sleepy and tired today.
and i hadnt written a word since last saturday.
so my writing is so .. *yuck*!
anyways, i feel quite happy to be back in class.
need to catch-up with last few weeks' homework.
i can also chit-chat with my friends,
so need to catch up with what they are saying and what's the latest news. xP
last and finally, i can keep my neighbour, aka, my best girlfriend,
all to myself again! cant help letting her 'berlaku curang' another week with my 'other' neighbour. = =
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
5th day! ouch!
today is the fifth day, which is my second event ==> 1500m.
when i saw the list of runners,
i was relieved, because there was only 15 people.
but when it was time to register,
ohh ****ety-****! there was approx. 30 runners!
i was so so 'shocked' to know that.
and the first thing that came to my mind ==> im doomed!
the gun was fired and there we go.
i didnt had a very good start.
in fact, it wasnt a good start at all!
the worst thing is that i let the runners overtake me! xD
then, i fought my way to the middle of the group.
there were quite a few runners running right in front of the middle group.
my mouth was dry and i find it a bit hard to breath?
1500m means 3 and a half round of the stadium.
i ran with all my might for the last round.
the good thing is i overtook around 3-5 runners. haha =D
but still, i didnt make it to the top 8.
well, im satisfied.
look on the bright side,
at least im not last, right? haha
my last event, 3000m.
the first event on tomorrow's schedule.
no hope in that one,
because all the top runners in MSSD Merentas Desa are in it.
so, once again, my aim is. . .
TO FINISH THE RACE!
and NOT TO RUN LAST!
xD that's not greedy, right?
when i saw the list of runners,
i was relieved, because there was only 15 people.
but when it was time to register,
ohh ****ety-****! there was approx. 30 runners!
i was so so 'shocked' to know that.
and the first thing that came to my mind ==> im doomed!
the gun was fired and there we go.
i didnt had a very good start.
in fact, it wasnt a good start at all!
the worst thing is that i let the runners overtake me! xD
then, i fought my way to the middle of the group.
there were quite a few runners running right in front of the middle group.
my mouth was dry and i find it a bit hard to breath?
1500m means 3 and a half round of the stadium.
i ran with all my might for the last round.
the good thing is i overtook around 3-5 runners. haha =D
but still, i didnt make it to the top 8.
well, im satisfied.
look on the bright side,
at least im not last, right? haha
my last event, 3000m.
the first event on tomorrow's schedule.
no hope in that one,
because all the top runners in MSSD Merentas Desa are in it.
so, once again, my aim is. . .
TO FINISH THE RACE!
and NOT TO RUN LAST!
xD that's not greedy, right?
Monday, March 2, 2009
my 6-days tournament
today is the third day of my six days tournament.
first and second day is the st john area competition.
as for today, it is the first day or the athlete championship.
my event for today is 800m.
i was in for the qualifying round.
but i didnt make it in the finals.
firstly, 800m isnt my 'thing'
secondly, stomach-ache! T^T
thirdly, im too slow! xP
i am thankful i didnt run last place.
that's all. i think i got 4th or 5th from the back. xD
really xia-sui. but nevermind.
my next event is 1500m finals!
i hope that will turn out better than 800m. hehe =D
wish me luck! =P
first and second day is the st john area competition.
as for today, it is the first day or the athlete championship.
my event for today is 800m.
i was in for the qualifying round.
but i didnt make it in the finals.
firstly, 800m isnt my 'thing'
secondly, stomach-ache! T^T
thirdly, im too slow! xP
i am thankful i didnt run last place.
that's all. i think i got 4th or 5th from the back. xD
really xia-sui. but nevermind.
my next event is 1500m finals!
i hope that will turn out better than 800m. hehe =D
wish me luck! =P
finally! =D
after training for 1 year plus plus,
we've got the results!
not bad results!
our hard work wasnt wasted after all. =)
just look at our preparations!
on saturday, we stayed back after written test. went to a senior's house to train home nursing practical and some first aid till 8pm. and that wasnt enough, went to another senior's house to train again first aid at 11pm till 2.30am. my team came back to my house and guess what, we polished all our shoes and ironed our blouse and everything. anxious? surely, i am. i rushed them to sleep at 4am. we were supposed to wake up at 5.15am. but who knew, everybody switched off their own alarm and went back to sleep. including me xD so all of us woke up at 6am when we were supposed to arrive in school at 6.30am. really very speechless. all last-minute work.
all our time on training and all the efforts. all was worth it. i am very happy and thankful for our results. although we won the competition, we can still improve. i dare not say we are good, we are just average. going to state com means we'll have to work harder and also improve faster.
GAMBATEA! =DD
we've got the results!
not bad results!
our hard work wasnt wasted after all. =)
just look at our preparations!
on saturday, we stayed back after written test. went to a senior's house to train home nursing practical and some first aid till 8pm. and that wasnt enough, went to another senior's house to train again first aid at 11pm till 2.30am. my team came back to my house and guess what, we polished all our shoes and ironed our blouse and everything. anxious? surely, i am. i rushed them to sleep at 4am. we were supposed to wake up at 5.15am. but who knew, everybody switched off their own alarm and went back to sleep. including me xD so all of us woke up at 6am when we were supposed to arrive in school at 6.30am. really very speechless. all last-minute work.
all our time on training and all the efforts. all was worth it. i am very happy and thankful for our results. although we won the competition, we can still improve. i dare not say we are good, we are just average. going to state com means we'll have to work harder and also improve faster.
GAMBATEA! =DD
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