Nice Song~

Superhuman -- Chris Brown ft. Keri Hilson

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How'd I survive when I could barely speak?
Barely eat?
On my knees

[Verse 2 - Keri Hilson]
Well that's the moment you came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invincible, I see
Through the me, I used to be

[Chorus]
You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing
To me, with your love
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Superhuman
I feel so superhuman (superhuman)
I feel so superhuman

[Verse 3 - Chris Brown]
Strong
Since I've been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like I've had it all along
I can see tomorrow

[Verse 4 - Keri Hilson]
Well every problem is gone because
I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It's unbelieveable to see how love could set me free

[Chorus]
You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing
To me, with your love
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Superhuman
I feel so superhuman (superhuman)
I feel so superhuman

[Bridge]
It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going gone away
My only weakness is you
My only reason is you
Every minute with you
I feel like I can do
Anything
Going going I'm gone away
In love

[Chorus]
You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing
To me, with your love
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Superhuman
Superhuman

goodbye 2008~ whassup 2009~!

in another 8.75hours,
2008 is gonna be history~
i've learnt alot in 2008..
i think i've changed [a bit? at least?]
i've learn to be more patient..
i've learn to be more.. erm.. rasional? [hahax =PP]
in this year, i've gone through PMR,
5days which seems like 5 years..
and got satisfying results.. [8As~ wuuhuu~ =)]
its like i live inside my own dream..
everything is fine, and going well..
better than i thought it would [and im happy about that]
i really enjoy this year..
now that its gonna end..
kinda feel like saying 'dont go!' [ xP ]
today is the last day of my junior high..
i'll be entering senior high next year..
with more things to learn,
and more things to discover..
to learn what reality is?

i hope 2009 will be better~
i hope i enjoy 2009 as much as 2008~
hope that everyday is a happy day ^^

goodbye 2008~
tata~ au revoir~ arrivederci~ sayonara~
whatssup 2009~!!
aloha~ bonjour~ bonjourno~ hello~!
everything will be just right? hope so ^__^

feels so weird..? =.=

i was like 'huh? you gotta be kidding me..' when i got to know about this matter..
c'mon, gimme a break~ chill girl!
you gotta come to your own senses!
logic? rational? sensible?
are they in your vocab?
do you even know what they mean?
fine fine fine, maybe im just going to far?

anyways, i know the problem,
i'll try to solve it..
i dont want it to be worse than it already is now..
anybody can lend me a hand?
i'll go find Miss Perfect to help me.. xD
[im not being sarcastic! she really is Miss Perfect! ^^]

smile~ =))

what a happy happy day~ ^^
lalala~ lululu~ haha =P
all those sleepless nights!
all not wasted! yippee~ ^^
we were over the moon~
our dream come true!
8As!! mamma mia~!!
now i hope our gang can go to 4S2 together!
xD kinda greedy but hope hope hope!
haha.. really happy..
CONGRATZ to all those who are satisfied with their results!
ALL THE BEST & GAMBATEA to everybody!

=))

not enough? or too much?

well, i dont know..
i've done all i can..
maybe its too much?
or maybe its too little?
i've gave it all i got to save it..
but now, its like worsening?
i really dont know..
why cant this be easier?
why cant this be not so confusing?
i seem stupid in this..
being played-a-fool every now and then..
oh c'mon!
give me a break..

bad girl gone worse~

i dont know why, i really dont..
why am i such a freak?
why do i behave in such a nasty way?
why is my attitude like shit?!
i want to change this stupid attitude a long time ago..
i really tried changing..
but lately, all came back..
my worse attitude is being so proud (STUPID STUPID!!)
why am i so proud?
why do i have to be so proud?
i have nothing to be proud of!
im not a genius, im not super-natural..
im just an average person!
what do i want to prove?
i really dont know why im proud..
maybe its because im just pure idiotic..
not only that, i have a ferocious temper..
bloody hell! this is worse..
im been trying to keep it cool,
but sometimes it just gets me,
i really dont know.. haiz~
and another ridiculous act is that i like to "dong4 shou4 dong4 jiao3"
but i always go to far..
im quite worried that my friends will mind,
but i just cant help myself? (plain silly)

here, i apologize to all my friends,
im sorry for being so rude and stupid..
please dont bear it in heart~!!
okay?

SORRY =(

My Holidays [Part 3]

another trill about this holiday is,
my PMR results are coming out this hols!!
at first, the rumour was the 29th,
so im all prepared by then,
to accept my fate! T^T
but now, its up in the newspaper,
saying that the results will be out
on the 24th! that's the day after tomorrow!!
what the heck!
im totally not prepared for it to be so soon.. xD
i really hope my grades are presentable!
i wanna got 4S2~
which means. . .
i need to ace every subject! T^T
im keeping my fingers crossed,
and hoping for the best!
wish me luck! xP

like an arrow that cant be removed~

just when i thought i've overcome what i've always feared, something else occurred.. making me lose my confidence again.. i've made a decision, i've chosen a path to forget all that's ever happen and move on.. but just as i was able to release my doubts, i was crushed again.. i dont understand! why why why??!! blaming it all on me.. this is not what i wanted, i never wanted it to go this way.. not now..

who understands what i mean? only those who encounter this case before.. i want to save my own humiliation, by not saying the wrong things to the wrong person.. i have limited words is because the words i want to use are not included.. they cant be included it is not meant for people who are hideous on the inside.. so, what do you expect me to say? to you, words may not mean anything, not even the slightest emotion; but to me, every word represents something like a promise..

anybody want to try to be in my shoes? it isnt easy, and if you are me, you'll surely understand why.. its aches to move on, it aches to let go, it aches no matter what i do.. nothing seems to go right.. not now, not ever.. everything is like a show, but now the curtains should be closing already.. go on, take a bow and leave..


TAKE A BOW -- Rihanna
Ohh, how about a round of applause
Yeah, standing ovation
Oooh ohh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You’re so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

An’ don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talkin’ about, girl, I love you, you’re the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on (ohh)

And don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Ohh, and the award for best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let’s hear your speech out

How about a round of applause
A standing ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

But it’s over now

Oh Mai Gawd~~

anybody wanna have a taste of what i did today? i bet not.. hahax.. today's training was so so.. errmm.. * thinking* (talking to self) how to describe.. hmm.. *lights a bulb* TORTURING.. i cant even walk much.. and i was lucky, i went home at 12pm with an aching body due to my chemistry tuition at 3pm.. i wonder how's my teammates condition now.. laying on their beds with fractures all over? maybe i guess xD i had to admit, it was kinda fun.. but as time passes, i wanted to say : "waliau eh! gimme a break! let me sit down or some what.." after a few hours in hell, i continued my day with chemistry tuition (i didnt really wanted to leave xD but forced to.. haizz) and, i almost knocked out during tuition.. why? too exhausted.. what we chinese say, 'diao yu', i was doing that the whole tuition.. aduei~ but when i came home, a few simple chores await my arrival.. 55555 T^T what a tiring day! i think my legs are sore enough someone could actually chop it off without me noticing.. i cant feel my legs.. like im paralysed.. oh mai gawd~~ i wanna jump in to bed and never have to get up!!! which is totally impossible! my parents have a saying of their own : late to bed, early to rise.. i will be up by 7am tomorrow no matter how late i sleep.. T^T xP so much for 'sweet dreams'~ xP

taking one step at a time~

choosing paths..
choosing friends..
choosing this choosing that..
why must there be choices?
why cant there only be one?
i hate making decisions..
making decisions will hurt others..
affect others..
sometimes i wish to cry out loud!
i want to shout my lungs out!
i want to say that im so so so stressed out!
i want to say i want to give up!
i cant take it anymore!
but who to tell?
who would listen?
my best-est best friend is busy this whole month..
i cant afford to burden her with my troubles..
she does not deserve it..
who else would lend me an ear?
to listen to what i've got to say?
who's willing to lend me a shoulder to rest on?
can i quit? no, i do not have a choice..
i must go on..
taking only one step at a time. . . . .
planning what's next of me. . .
but what do i see?
i see nothing~ pitch-black~
like a black hole, taking me into it. . . . .

stressed out~ save me~

im really stress lately..
being bothered by so many things..
sometimes i really dont know what i can do..
and what not to do..
im not as strong as anybody thinks..
im weak, i always make mistakes..
i hate my temper..
i cant get hold of myself..
and lastly, im hated by almost everyone..
what am i to do?
i feel hopeless and also useless..
i dont want to give up,
but sometimes i really feel that giving up will make me feel better..
why am i so stressed up?
i dont know the answer myself..
really speechless~
how i hope i can find someone to talk to..
someone who will understand how i feel..
but i dont think there is that somebody..

. . . . .

life's a long run [holidays part 2]

holidays? what's that?
we are suppose to have fun during the hols, rite?
we are suppose to sit back, relax and enjoy all that we can, rite?
im enjoying my hols because they are not really boring,
but its filled with tuition classes, school activity and so on..
there are also a few things i havent been able to do,
for example, i havent start my work! oh my gawd!
i was supposed to start mid-November,
can someone remind me what day is it today?
im not even home for more than 24 hours straight..
please note, IM NOT COMPLAINING!
im just making a point that im happy that my hols isnt wasted..
i gotta admit i quite like being busy and not just sitting around..
but its quite stressful to keep it up like this..
mind you, i dont even remember when is the last time,
i slept for more than 8 hours..
probably first two weeks of the hols..
just the tuition homework is enough to cut 2 hours everyday of the week..
at least my holidays have been used to the fullest.. xD

p.s PMR results are only 3weeks away!! T^T
fingers definitely crossed!! hoping for the best!

My Trip to Terengganu

29th ~ 1st December 2008
wakaka! xD
straight after i came home from CC,
i continued packing my clothes,
and started my next trip the next morning..
a trip to terengganu!
[btw, i passed by D.E.R on the way there, kinda happy?]
this is the first time my parents,
are willing to pay so much for accommodation..
so, we stayed in Awana Kijal~ so nice!
everything in this resort is almost perfecto!
huge pool! clean, sandy beaches!
giant chess set?! cool golf course!
and nice, nice, super nice courts for sports!
and i mean all kinds of sports,
e.g basketball, netball, volleyball, ping pong etc.
and the rooms!! i dont wanna go home! T^T
hahax.. exaggerating here! of course i wanna go home!
this trip is more for relaxation~
so i just eat, eat, play, play, sleep sleep!
yea, yea! this is life! xD
by sunday, we're on the move again..
going up north to kuala terengganu..
this resort is called The Aryani~
it has 20 villas [one if it is 100++ old =_=]
this resort is kinda terrifying cuz i saw a SNAKE outside my villa!!
oh my gawd!! and the authority said it was NORMAL!!
how can this be normal??!!
to calm us down, he said that they are not poisonous!!
like THAT will help?? aduei!!
so, my family and i were to frightened to go anywhere near the door
[as it has a big crack on it], let alone sleep!
and it rained the whole time we were in Aryani..
so didnt enjoy it that much! haiz
on monday morning, we set off back home at 9am..
and reached at 7pm..
long journey == butt ache!
and that's my trip about relaxation!
hahax

Combined Camp 2008

-- 8th Combined Camp --

-- 25th ~ 28th November 2008 --

-- Dusun Eco Resort [D.E.R] --

wuuhuu~~!!

so, the camp that i've waited for such a long time has come to an end.. all that i can do now is, with all my heart, hope that i can participate in this meaningful program once again next year, which will be my last! in this camp, i really learnt a lot nd made a lot of friends too~! thanks to group 5 ~~ Hi5!! although we didnt win this camp, but in my heart, we are the champions from day 1.. we really did enjoy this camp very much! but its really sad to know that we will never be in the same group again! [the chances of me reuniting with Sugarcanes is even smaller! T^T]

My TeamMates!

-- low kah loong -- tan wan lin -- teh jia yap -- khoo jing jie -- h'ng joo swee -- tan zhi qin -- yap eugene -- heng yi xuan -- lim liang choon -- tan siok yee -- eric lim -- tan zhi han --

WE WILL MEET AGAIN! ^^

Combined Camp really did a good part in my hols.. it was terrific! i've joined 2 CCs so far and both was enjoyable (although i dreaded that it rain throughout the camp 08)! many activities have been cancelled so we have quite some time left out with nothing to do.. I've gotta admit that i miss CC 07 more (sorry T^T).. but i did not regret for participating in it this year! last year, i did not even try to communicate with my team, this year, i put my whole heart for them.. at least i started enjoying this camp from day 1.. hahax ^^ so, i've made friends with them and also enjoyed camp! [Hi5, if i've done anything wrong in camp, please forgive me~ im sorry!] well, at least we get to sleep more this year.. last year was exhausting! Again, i would like to say THANK YOU to Hi5!! Thanks for making this camp so worth remembering! im gonna miss the times we spent together in camp! keep in touch, my pals!! ^^

------------------------------------------------------

attached with this is my blog about Combined Camp '07

------------------------------------------------------

[[November 27]]
Combined Camp '07
I just came back from combined camp 2007..
so tired o.. But it was fun..
I dont know why I hated it on the first day..
maybe it is because I am still not used to it..
I do not know.. I really wanted to come back home..
me and a friend of mine, we said this together :
" let's kill ourselves tonight, beh tahan liao..!!"
we really cant take it anymore..
but as the days passed, we started to know more friends..
and by the third day, I started to enjoy the whole camp..
It was fun and exciting.. But really very tired..
I think we slept for 10 hours only during the 4days.. o.O
I definitely learned alot from this camp..
I did not regret joining it..
and I also get the chance to meet friends whom I never seen in school..
it was a tiring but great experience..
thanks to the AJKs, I really had a great time..

preparation for camp~ and how i feel~

oh yea~!!
combined camp is just around the corner!
oh jeez, i cant wait!!
i've learnt so much from combined camp last year!!
not to mention that's the best camp i've ever been to..
^^

- - - - - - - - - -
okay, this might be a bit weird, but,
while being excited and all,
im actually afraid..
because i know, i wont be able to make it alive..
there's people out there wanting me to fall..
but I CANT FALL!
i dont want to lose in the face of these people..
i would so like to scold '****king b**ch!' out loud,
but that's so so rude!

after an incident today,
i really dont know how to react..
either react with hate or ignorance..
i might choose to ignore,
because I AM NOT WEAK!
DONT YOU EVER MESS WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE!
you will so regret messing with me..
i'll turn up better than expected!
just you wait!
- - - - - - - - - -

okay, back to preparation,
i put a lot of effort into my group this year..
i didnt even do so much last year..
dont know why?
i regretted for not helping them out last year..
[frankly, i liked SUGARCANES more, SORRY, Hi5!! T^T]
im packing my bag later..
but i think i wont have trouble with that,
since i know what needed and what not..
so its much easier.. hehe
i hope i can enjoy CC '08 with Hi5 as much as i did with SUGARCANES!
i hope all Hi5 will enjoy CC '08 to the fullest!! ^^
Hi5 is the best!! yes! ^^
[[sugarcane geng!
sugarcane giong!
sugarcane yiong!
sugarcane zin eh si moe tak teng!! xD ]]
(miss y'all SUGARCANES!)

disappointed..

i so want to shout out now!
"Oh My Gawd! Waliau eh!"
what do you guys think??!!
we are perfecto?!
we are not brilliant!
we didnt even improve since the last year..
and what did you all do?
play around??!! that's not even a suggestion here!!
come on! we all are below average here!
the other team is improving day by day..
what about us?? we're still left in the dumpster!
and you guys think its FUN?
please, stop all the joking!
i know its gonna be very 'sienz' if we're always serious,
we can joke after we know your mistakes..
please dont joke when we're practising!
where's all the laughing getting us?
NO WHERE I TELL YA!
i dont think its funny at all..
i feel very disappointed..
i feel like im useless..
i feel hopeless!
im really am sorry if i was too strict with you all..
im sorry if i went overboard..
but all i wanted was you guys to listen to me for a sec..
and for you guys to not talk about other topics..
i know you guys wanna catch up after being apart for a week,
but not now, okay??
you guys can do so when we're having a break..
let us at least practise our basics first..
you guys can catch up another day/time..
we have less than half a year..
do you guys remember what happened the last time?
we regret not being serious during the year,
we were only serious when we knew we cant have training again..
do you want to feel the same next February?
regret that we are not ready at all?
not to mention our opponents are strong teams!
please, dont do that during the next training..
I BEG YOU GUYS!!!

it all comes to me now. .

i dont know, i never thought of it this way..
today, i read a book
(actually this book is fiction and about fantasies),
but i actually learnt some things from this book..
i think not many will have heard of this book,
its name is INKHEART..
(that's not really important)

the main thing i want to say is,
according to a character in this book,
"fear devours everything"
even if you have rehearsed,
or you have it set in your mind,
once you are afraid,
all is gone..

and come to think of it,
many people are actually 'applying' that concept in their lives..
for examples of fear is the fear of losing something to our friends,
the fear of being left behind,
the fear of being underestimated,
and so many more..

all these 'fear' can actually make people forget who they are,
it tarnishes the conscience of one,
for one is willing to do anything, even betrayal,
so that one will not be left behind and will be accepted..
these fear are really the trouble that's happening around us..
some think they are doing the right thing to be accepted,
but actually it is wrong, so wrong..
this is an act of a selfish person..
an act which will make others hate him/her more..

one should not portray this kind of fear..
we should tolerate and cooperate,
one who puts on a one-man-show will end up regretting..
learn to accept who others are,
learn to accept others for their suggestions,
you might find out that their ideas are better..
who knows?
also, learn to accept own flaws,
nobody is prefect,
we are who we are,
no matter how we change our outsides,
or how we act, we are still the same on the inside..
dont be greedy for things that will make us lose or treasures,
which is our valued friends, family and our self~!

now i understand why people are jealous,
because of their fear..
fear devours everything,
this means it will lead them to do the wrong things. . . .

[p.s this is a note-to-self (means for me),
and also as a reminder to all my friends]

the holidays [part 1]

the holidays kinda started some time ago..
and what did i do during the hols?
i keep repeating the same thing..

1. eat
2. sleep
3. watch tv
4. online!
5. reading
6. tuition

if this continues,
i'll be unrecognisable in no-time
my brain is hardly even functioning
[except for add math class and homework]
im wasting my time at home
my parents wont let me out..
i thought about going to work,
found a place too,
but they said no..
this holiday is really killing me..
i wanna go to school~ T^T

p.s i kinda missed the time i was preparing for PMR
at least i was occupied with things to do..
not sitting around, 'loitering' in my own house! xD

today, another day..

i was thinking, what if(s)..
what if everything was what its supposed to be?
what if we cant change anything?
what if i was wrong about my decision?
what if i was wrong from the start?
what if . . .

i dont dare to bring myself to think about it anymore..
its not that simple, its something more than that..
i felt lost around a few months ago
(although im not saying when)..
i decided, why not try this route again..
this time i might be right..
but im wrong again..

so..
maybe it was meant to be wrong..
maybe it was never right in the first place..
felt so dumb,
felt like a kid,
felt like im binded with ropes..
cant get loose..
struggling and struggling..
barely holding on..

i know somebody will say
" wuuhuu~! i win! you lost! "
i know somebody will be happy..
i know what's suppose to happen next..
i can see it in front of me..
but what can i do?
it seems this way..
im helpless~

a song which sings my feelings out loud

When the night won't fall and the sun won't rise
And you see the best as you close your eyes
When you reach the top as you bottom out
But you understand what it's all about

Nothing's ever what it seems
In your life or in your dreams
It don't make sense, what can you do
So I won't try makin' sense of you

[Chorus:]
Love just is... whatever it may be
Love just is... you and me
Nothing less and nothing more
don't know what I love you for... love just is

When you ask to stay and then disappear
It seems you're gone but you're really here
When every move seems out of place
But every kiss is filled with grace

Some things never get defined
In your heart or in your mind
It don't make sense, what can you do
So I won't try makin sense of you

[Chorus]
Don't ever ask me for reasons
I can't get to you
Don't ever ask me for reasons
Why I live for you... I just do

I just do

[Repeat second stanza]

[Chorus]

= Love Just Is by Hilary Duff =