now i understand.

now i really do understand. i understand why last time, seniors always scold us saying that we are childish. we dont like it at all. we thought we really know what we are doing. but until now only did i realise that we really were childish. our thoughts were just 'dreams'. not reality.

always playing, always dreaming, always causing troubles, always complaining. never was there any peace. i really do feel so sorry and a word of thank you for those seniors who guided us so far. for those who've given us support in no matter what we do. for forgiving us for our mistakes. for making us realise our mistakes. it really isnt easy to be a senior.

now i realise. it is not easy to always have to think for them. it is not easy to help all of them. some accept our advice without another word, whereas some will curse you behind your back.

now i understand why we were amatures last time. because all our actions were not logical. we do everything the way we want it, the way we like it. we never thought of it whole way round like seniors did. ( does this really proves that we get wiser as we grow older? )

to think back of it, i really was childish in the pass. playing and laughing my head off everyday. going through senior's lecture everyday. being exposed to the inside details since F1 really made me grow (a bit). having a go at losing everything made me grow even more. and i am glad. to know what people really is like. and i will say, people are so darn horrifying. like friends, one day you are in, and another, you are out ( slogan for project runway XD but it really suits here ) i hated that but who cares. now i know who are my true friends.

dont get me wrong, i am not saying i am wise. just that i feel i could think better nowadays. a clearer vision. maybe growing up have its advantages?