yes or no?

i've heard experiences, i've heard stories, i've heard plans. basically, its all about furthering my studies to aussie.

seriously, i've just realized that out of 10 students, i may be the only one who didnt apply for Matriculation. erm.. my reason for not applying was obvious, i didnt want to study here. but now, i found out that i am still deciding whether i want to go australia or not?

I WANT to go mainly is because i feel that it'll be different from M'sia and i believe they have a more conducive studying environment (i dont mean M'sia is not good).

and i really dislike the so-called-unique-ness that only we, the non-bumiputras have to give in for. i dislike the inequality given to the races, there is such a big difference in the treatment given to us and really, no offence, but this is called One Malaysia? there is already a major inequality in education, a good example, matrix. given  to only around 15% of non-bps. i cant imagine what it'll be like in the society. i believe the non-bps will be working their heads-off and the bps (some, if not all) will be shaking their legs of their comfortable armchair like nobody's business. (this is one of the reasons why i cannot be a doctor, although i was considering this profession, because of the inequality. i am afraid i'll portray the inequality on my patients, which is unfair and also an evil act!)

seriously no offence, but i never really liked the bahasa rasmi. i can accept it as a subject, i can accept it as a language, no problem, but when they insist on teaching science and maths in 'it', i would like to say good luck to the future masterminds in fighting with international giants. dont be so proud over 'it' and learn to accept that conducting science and maths in english would be a better choice the future of the country.

i didnt want to study in local u for the same reason. i dont want to go through another few years studying who-knows-what subject in 'it' again. no way, no how.

I DONT WANT to go because i realize i'll miss my family more than anything else. my house, my room, my space. my friends, if i leave, will we still be that close? will we still meet up when i come back? will we still smile when we see each other? its really hard to say. i dont want to go is because i couldnt leave everything behind. =x

thinking about it, well, the 'unique-ness' will be applied in australia too. i am not a blonde, i am not anywhere similar to any australian. i am a typical asian. with black hair, over tanned skin, will be a few inches shorter than any of them and lastly, my eyes are pure black. not green, not blue, not hazel. will i be accepted as a part of their culture? will i really 'seek refuge' at my uncle's or will i live alone in town? i dont know.


there will be an education fair in school tomorrow. i've selected my target and i will be heading to those counters tomorrow. i suppose i'll gather as more information as i can find and i'll make this decision after SPM. i'll do what's best for my future. =]