lessons i value.

i've learnt to value things in life. i know its not easy to attain something nor is it easy to maintain something. i know some things are more valuable and should be cherished. well, when missed the chance, its over and done with. a full stop has been marked and i will not look back. i'll move on and definitely work harder in life.

mummy talked to me about my future again today. i found out that my uncle has already prepared a room for me equipped with a study table and book shelves in his new house in melbourne. they are really looking forward for the time when i'll be there. mummy says that the time i leave depends on the budget of our family. being the eldest, to further my studies in aussie has been a dream since my childhood, in fact, i wanted to go there again right after my first trip there since i was nine. i once had the thought to give up this big dream, but after reconsidering it, i will not give up my chance. i will work hard to achieve my dream. i wont wake up to an empty ceiling, i will wake up to see something i want. i will not give up on my dreams!

friendship. a helping hand indeed. i smile, i live, i cry, i enjoy, i love. my friends are why i hung on. just like that cursed competition. if it wasnt because X kept helping me and consoling me telling me to accept the fact that we cant turn down the competition, i would not have went. if it wasnt because of my friends, i would never have the courage to stand up once more. the care, the support, the love they show, its definitely something i appreciate. =) i've leanrt that friendship is indeed important and its a guide to grow up and go on with life.

envious. i shouldnt be envious of others. its reality, although it sounds so much like a fairy tale. i never knew such good things exist in reality. i thought they were just illusions. illusions that i'll never get to see. i should not envy others. although i may not lead my life the same way but i can lead my life in another way, much more different than theirs. i will be fine.

my lessons, valued and treasured. i will move on and make sure the mistakes are minimized. no more suffering. i will not let myself be depressed or in despair no more. i will stay strong.