this is me. xP

this is me. obviously. ==

p.s i meant this is the way i am studying. not the way i look. i know some people are bound to say "you dont look like this, you look even more horrible than this cartoon!"

happy day. =)

happy day, today. i spent my morning with the gang. after school activity, we went to mamak to eat. then, when we walked back to school, it started drizzling. when we reach prefect room, nobody wanted to moved any further. so we made ourselves cosy just sitting on the floor outside the room. haha. played music from yj's phone. singing and ss-ing like crazy. wakaka! it has been a long time since we've all gathered and ss like this. xP really miss our ss-ing days. ==

yj suggested running in the heavy rain. and the sampat me followed her. we ran from prefect's room to the teachers' office and back. all wet. xD when the rain aint so heavy anymore, this time it was zy who suggested to run in the rain again. xD but not such a short distance anymore. we ran the whole block B. haha =D 5 siao pos running like mad in the rain. xDD although its a lil xiasui but still we enjoyed it a lot! the 'itc bin sui4' girl was the last! hey, sui4 de, looks is not everything! xDD hahaha. [no sense of offending anybody. just joking.]

we sang, we talked, we ss-ed for 3 hours. and sadly, i was the first to go home ='( haih.

i really had a lot of fun. i had a happy day. =)

p.s. gawd, i did something darn embarrassing today. =X my image went down the drain. xD

just realized.

i just realized.

something very important.

i found out,

regarding the person i loath so much in my posts a few months ago [with the title 'confession'], i found out that i dont dislike her anymore. =X not only that, i've found out she can be a quite a good friend. kinda unbelievable, i find that she is actually a good person. although she could be a nuisance at some times, but she is really nice. =)

i am sorry for saying something so rude about you last time. i am very sorry. =(

exams exams.

my teacher said that exams is just 3 weeks away. she was babbling on and on about what we have no more time to study, cant just enjoy the days. really lack of time. yada yada yada. she is scaring me. and now, i really believe i do not have time anymore. [frankly, i really am lack of time.] the 'dead-end' is on 5th of October. i'll be dead by then. >,<





can i even dream about getting this grade? nuh! dont think so. not even a single subject. yicks! i think i have a big probability of flunking each subject though. is that 'good' enough? it is not that i dont want to study, it is not because i am too busy to study, it is because i am lazy ._.




and so, i will end up like this during the exam. staring hard at the piece of paper, twisting my brain when it is a total blank. then, i will 'tembak'. when i tembak, the chances of getting it right is nil. isnt that a shame? so can someone slap me to let me know shame is 5-fingered? if i really pick up my books and study after that slap, i bet you, i'll thank you for life. xD no heart to study, yet dont want to get bad grades? impossible. haih.

angels & devils.

a tour from earth to heaven.

from heaven straight down to hell.

then the journey from climbing back up from hell.

next will be enjoying the life on earth.

straight after enjoying the few momentary happiness,

flung from earth to hell again.

just that this time, it is much more deeper in hell.

working back up to earth is a pretty long journey.

its a long way up.

but i am glad to say that i am working my way back up there! i must get my way up there. i must make it up. and when i am up there, i am ready to face my terrors. this time, i will face it with all i've got. i will not make myself as ridiculous as the last.

i am not weak. i live my life. =)

live. life. love. =D

hmmm..

hmmm.. *scratches my head* [just a description, definitely hygienic].

"6th sense? accurate?"

"oh-puh-lease. quit joking."

...

now i am wondering who's joking. my 6th sense is actually accurate?

ding! earth-to-me! maybe it is just a coincidence. its not that accurate, is it?

another thing is that i feel i am such a blur. i feel like i dont know myself sometimes. feel like i am a complete stranger to myself.

can i be better at this? oh well, i think i just entered the world of blur-ism and confusion-ism. [fyi, i am not talking about 孔子] who doesnt have a time when they are blur and confused? i bet most people do. but maybe just not as blur and confused as i am now. =X

tagged.

1. How old were you when you had your first relationship?
14

2. Are you taken/single?
Single.

3. Do you like anyone right now?
dont know.

4. Ever had your heartbroken?
yes? should be my fault anyways. =X

5. Miss anyone right now?
dont know.

6. Who was the last person you sent a text to?
Y.C.Yunn

7. Last person to text you?
Y.Y.Herng

8. Last person you saw?
my sis. bugging me.

9. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"that is so not funny laa."

10. Who is top in your top friends?
the sweetest girl sitting beside me [SC of course =D ], the awesome 4 sitting behind me [HG, YJ, HK, ZY], the pretty girl next class [another SC] and the cute girl from another class [NH]. they are my besties! =)

11. Who do you trust the most in your life?
most-most-most-most trusted : schin. [love ya!]

12. Who do you love most?
friends and family.

13. Ever been in love?
yes.

14. Who has hurt you the most?
i'll keep it a secret =')

15. Has a tragedy ever happened in your life?
no?

16. Are you happy?
yes :: 80%
no :: 20%

17. How many good friends do you have?
my top friends and many many others =)

18. Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
hard to admit, but yes. not just some, but a lot.

19. Have you ever cheated on a partner?
i guess so. i dont know is that considered.

20. Have you ever cheated on?
i also dont know if that incident is considered.
[p.s i meant the incident last year]

21. Ever been told someone loved you?
yes.

22. Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
yes. i will only say it if i mean it. dont mean it then why say it?

23. What is your idea of true love?
trust, believing, can share anything, understands each other well, both can tolerate, both can forgive.

24. Do you believe in love at first sight?
i think so.

25. Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love?
yes. get to know each other better.

Who's been tagged:
those who havent been tagged, you are now tagged by me =)

no daylight.

i tuned the volume up on my music player.
i laid on my bed staring at the ceiling.
this time, instead of the intention to sleep,
i let my thoughts wonder.

i got up,
i walked around my room,
picking up some stuff on the way.
i took out a box,
stuffed all of them inside.
i dont think they need to see daylight anymore.

after everything is inside,
i closed the lid.
taking a last good look.
i sworn i wont open that lid again,
because i dont think there is such a need to do so.

i took daylight away from those stuff,
as they brought the storm to me.
i took daylight away,
since they seem to be smiling when im down.
i took daylight away for they dont need it.

the box is closed,
'sealed'.
there is no need to open that box.
unless its time to chuck it in the bin.

trust.

trust, something very important.
i would love to trust. but i darent.
thought it might get the life out of me.
not trusting is a burden.
trusting is believing.
believing is faith.
i do not believe,
i do not trust,
i do not have faith.

conclusion:
stupid.

lesson learnt:
always trust your love ones, dont regret trusting them because if you mean a lot to them, they wont decide to hurt you =)

back to school.

went back to school yesterday. felt much happier =) glad to see all my friedns again. unexpectedly, i am glad to see all my teachers too! xD although i dont miss their lessons. xP

my summary for this holiday:
-- holiday plan failed [obviously]
-- wasted a lot of time [in front of all the addicting games. silly me. >< ]
-- made myself a total wreck [emotional problems? guess so. ]
-- stressed myself out [for what i also dont know. feel stupid. == ]
-- found out i am truly very very very lazy. [true. so true.]

guess i really need more hard work than i thought.
planned my hols so well, but i ended up wasting it. =(
need to rush up all the never-ending homework.

TZH! gotta wake up!
rest time is over!
get up and work for it!
term end test is just around the corner.
must improve all my subs unless i want to get back the same stupid results!
must not get another paper with the lowest mark in my class!
pia pia pia! xDD
[hopefully that is =P ]