i dont fit in T'T ~

i dont think i fit in.
i am always a loner.
dont know where to go.
just following instructions.
what happened to all those so called 'jimui'?
i cant even talk to them anymore.
i remembered that i used to call one of them every night and talk our hearts out.
we can talk about everything.
we never run out of topics.
but now, everything changed.
last time, i talk to you guys almost every minute in school.
now, the sentences i said to you guys are less than 10 each day.
i cant fit in with you guys.
you said that its because i have schin beside me,
but i dont think so.
schin is my best friend,
and so are you guys!
i thought we promised to be best friends at least until we graduate from secondary.
we are not graduating this year!
2009 brought BIG changes to my life.
i never felt so useless before in my life.
i've lost my 2 very very good friends,
i've got so suck-ish results,
my co curriculum is 'merosot-ing',
everything is changing!
i am not the happy go lucky me anymore.
i cant smile when i like to,
i feel stressed everyday,
i feel like crying everytime.
i want my buds back!
where have they gone?
i dont know. >.<
i just hope everything will be like last year.
always smiling, no pressure, no worries!