5 days to go

look at that number! 5!
and guess what? i have only another 5 days!
to be honest, im really anxious.
it has been a long time since i participate in a competition where speaking/shouting/ talking is required.
the only thing i ever participated since Form1 is anything to do with running or caligraphy.
but lately things seems worse.

im tired, really very tired.
something made me so want to give up!
i want to give up.
nobody cares anyway.
and waste the whole year of training.
if you can become a part of the team,
that means you are good!
no matter what number you take,
you are still better!
why dont you see it that way?
i may not fully understand how you feel,
since im not in your shoes.
but can you please dont make me feel so hopeless?
you can still do your part!
participate with us..
many people have been in your place,
they all got over it, why not you?
YOU ARE NOT USELESS!
please la. if you are useless then we wont be needing you!
i've given up alot for this,
and now you are telling me all those efforts are going down the drain?!
i've gave it all i got.
i know you said that training so many times is useless.
so, that may be true, i dont know.
i cant see anything.
i give up! i really give up.

why dont i try this ==> i'll be absent on that day, then you will be VERY useful. dont you think? you want to try? i'll be more than happy to do that, as long as you think YOU ARE USEFUL and stop being so pathetic!!! its not like we have chances of winning when im it.

so fed up! . . .