exasperating.

pardon me for my harsh language.

recently found out something that i feel had changed my view towards my life. gawddammit, its nothing good. heard it has done some good in some ways -- which i thought only happens in chick lit or dramas -- that was quite approving. but hell, its not doing any good to me besides being toyed around and being, whaddaya call..? influencer and influencee? sheer rubbish. sheer crap.

once thought that it was a phenomenal thing. now just as disgusting and just as loathsome as the last. what's the darn difference. so its just all the same. 'legend' takes that its true, so called 'chim-ology'. or for my personal view, its truly absurd! and all bullshit.

changed my point of view of my own life. shit. truly shit and nothing but shit. so it has become a joke. a joke that cracks people up. a joke that i dont think is funny! i screwed up just once more. its getting on my nerves and i swear its gonna be suicidal. one fine day i'm gonna scream so darn loud with a voice an octave higher and with the courage to yell that i am through with all this rubbish! taking into account that i am stupid and idiotic in a way i thought i'd never be.

bear in mind that all this is one word -- absurd! totally absurd and exasperating!

no comparisons.

i hate comparisons. i hate it ever so much when my parents take my results and compare it with their collegues' children or even with my brilliant cousin. (yh, i mean no offence. my parents would be ever so proud if i am like you.) please dont always compare me with them. i know j***e has a mastermind and can think her way through any task given to her, yes yes yes, she knows her way around anything. i know i know. but you too said that j***e sucks in her diet. eats uncontrollably, has a sweet tooth and everything. you guys said luckily i am not like her. so do you see that everybody have their "pros and cons"? please, no more comparisons. and i am telling you guys, i know how to arrange my time for my studies and my entertainment. dont tell me to do add math add math every time you see me. i will add a lot of oil to improve my cursed add maths and physics, i dont need to be reminded. *rolls eyes*

betrayed.

Sorry, another rude/harsh post coming up.

hell, we all felt so betrayed!
how could you do this to us?!
hey, you betrayed all of us!
you betrayed 4s2!
tell you what, from now on, i consider that 4s2 have only 43 students!
so it is 4ty-three students 2gether!

what were you thinking when you called her?
have you ever thought that we would all die in a lumpsum?
were you even sane when you called her?
do you know the consequences we are gonna face?
just a reminder dork, YOU WENT TOO!
stupid! how could you?

2 words to you,
GET LOST!
we never thought you would do such a thing, you idiot!
such an amateur!!
listen here, jerk! it is not because we dont want to bother you, but it is YOU who didnt want to join us!
so we are not in the wrong.
why didnt you come along when all your room mates are with us?
where the hell were you then?
being the dang teacher's pet?
reporting our doom?
eh, you addicted to 2012?
you want our s2 lives to end a year earlier?
you want us all to die a painful death?
hell to you, you idiot!

.
.
.

after typing so much, i've got news.
sudden?
ridiculous?
pathetic?
i dont know.
i dont believe it.

**
i heard latest news saying it was not you who said it.
somebody said it was because you wanted to sacrifice yourself and let us melepas geram on you.
hmm.. a good reason. well, a nice one indeed.
but sorry, i dont believe it.
i dont believe at all.
i dont think you are that kind of guy who would sacrifice yourself.
but if its true, i mean you sacrificing yourself and all, I WILL APOLOGIZE TO YOU PERSONALLY AND SINCERELY!
until the real 'murderer' is 'behind bars', you are still blacklisted.

I SWEAR!

PLEASE IGNORE ME IN THIS POST.
For S2-rians, if you agree, please leave a comment.
sorry for using so many harsh /swear words.


I swear i have NEVER seen such a darn teacher!
i swear no matter how bad are my past teachers, i've never seen such a lousy teacher!
hey, moron teacher you are!
how lazy you are! seriously, who do you think you are?
if you are a good teacher, you want us to respect you, no problem at all!
but HELL! you are not even close to being an average teacher!!

what did you say ar? no TRs during your class next year?
oh ya, you told boon khang that since he is the assistant moniter, he should not leave class at all?
oh ok, now let me tell you this!
YOUR CLASS TREASURER! MOI! IS NOT GONNA BE IN CLASS UNTIL APRIL!
read my lips! NOT. GONNA. ENTER. YOUR. CLASS! Get it?!

do you know how embarrassing it is for us? huh?
you marked our BM all Bs!!!!
hello! our class have many students with the potential to get straight As la!
and thanks to you, our class SATU ORANG PUN TAKDE!
you tak malu ka? YOUR CLASS ONE STRAIGHT A STUDENT ALSO DONT HAVE!!!
everyday skema skema skema.
hello! like what our complaint letter said, what isnt in the skema doesnt mean it is wrong.
twist your brain a bit la dui!!!!!

when our class first wrote the complaint letter about you, man, i was stupid enough to feel sorry for you.
i even feel like it was unfair for you. and now?
NAH!!!! if i feel unfair for you, then i must the stupid-est person around! HELL YOU!
read my lips again! I. HATE. YOU.! F*** YOU! (i know this is super rude and super biadap, but sorry, i really buei tahan liao!)

today we went to go get our report card.
eh, siao po! you are late la!
all the science class teachers reached already and where are you?
sitting in the staff room like it is none of our business!
wth! sibeh tuapai!
when you came, you know how ugly you look?
masam muka pulak! still ok, can accept, but who do you think you are to tell us we cant leave before 1pm?
hello! we got our things to do! we are not like you! so free.
when we want to take the card, you marah pulak!
two words to your face! GO HELL!
ok, the last thing i buei tahan!
wtf! you ROLLED YOUR EYES at me!
ehlo! you think you president a?
or who are you? miss universe?
i didnt "de zui" you or anything you know?
sampat! i straight ROLL MY EYES back at you la siao po!
you think only you know how to roll your eyes a?
guess what, we ALL know how to do that! stupid.

say what, you are not happy with 4S2?
and what do we hae to say?
WE ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOU EITHER!
we love 4s2 but we dont love you!
i swear, you really make my life miserable!
i went to school today in such a happy mood and i came back looking like i've killed somebody.
i want to mogok!
i want to say, I HATE YOU, YOU DANG KIND OF TEACHER!


(feel so much better after scolding her. =D )

idiot-ish.

i am being so ridiculous. yea yea, this is me, cant change this stupid attitude no matter how much i want to.

i feel like a jerk. i made myself feel pathetic, i made my friends in dilemma whether to help me or just leave me facing my headaches, nightmares all by myself.

ARGHH!!! i want to scream, i want to shriek!!!!!!

i dont want to burden my friends, not now, not ever. ><


**, i know your habit, i know what you are intending to do. just so you know, i understand you more than you think i do.

**, i can only give you my sincere apologies. i am truly sorry for the trouble and my stupidity.

**, thank you, my friend. =') du bist sui laa, i will remember that. =') i know, i know, exams is around the corner. i wont give up no matter how much i want to. thank you! =)

**, did i managed to help you or did i burden you even more? i am sorry if i did. ><> i wish you all the best! **, jia you!! you once said that to me, now its my turn to tell you. =) jyjy!!!

*shrieks*

*shrieks*!!!

here comes the bloody october. the month which i do not want it to arrive. and yet, it is right in front of me right now.

bloody october.
exams exams exams.

dreadful october.
everyday is gonna be miserable.

i am dreading this october. not prepared to face all the challenges of the exams yet. i hope this month comes just as fast and leaves as fast. i just hope i can go through this october alive. ><

Hols : Day 2.

tuition.
used up 3 hours.
just realized, today is day 100.
sampat-ing at home.
used up 3 hours.
but i am glad to tell the world
the whole afternoon, in 1U, shopping.
er-hem! correction, window shopping.
used up 6-7 hours.
that i dont mind anymore if its day 1 or day 100,
in front of the computer, online.
going to use approx. 2 hours.
i can live my own life, my own way.
the rest of the day, in my bed dreaming.
using 9-10 hours.
i will be happy with the way i am now. =)
so this was my 'meaningful' day. =)
you guys have my sincere blessings. =)
proud of it? never. =(

an experience.

an experience that is hard to forget.

walked to tuition today. seriously, i was already walking on other people's garden. and suddenly, i felt a bump on my thigh. then, i felt a prickly and a very strong push on the lower limb. after a few seconds only did i realize a car just bumped into me. or more specific, my limb. the next second, i found out that i was cursing. lol. xDD luckily i only got some scratches, a lil' bruise here and there and suffer the lost of the dermis layer of the skin. size about 10cm*3cm. huge much.

that stupid car missed me by inches laa.. hello! idiot much. how can you drive and turn into a junction with out even signalling? and hello! you are driving way too out of where you should be. i am walking on other people's garden and you are DRIVING on other people's garden. idiot you. how much i would give to whack some sense into you, you fool. if you came closer by a few more inches, i would have lost my limb! and if that happens, you are so dead meat. [out of anger i might even break your thigh =D ]

8/8/09

finally it's over.
i dont know whether i am happy about that or not.
happy because finally i've completed this activity.
sad is because seniors were disappointed and so am i.
an achievement? or a disappointment?
有其senior, 必有其junior.
you guys trained them, so you guys should know them.
sorry, no offence, honestly, i dont think it was entirely my fault.
it was my fault i trusted the wrong people.
but it was not my fault their attitude was like that.
you guys knew i scolded them in front of everybody.
you guys knew i was angry just as you guys are.
hey, i really did give them all i've got.
i did not select those they chose to put.
besides, who were the ones who ran away from everything that has a mirror and a flash? you guys.
so how am i going to give them nice ones when there isnt any?
please be more reasonable? please?
yes, i know, everything ran late.
the luck was not on our side.
but at least we were still early in the end, ok?
and yes, it was really not presentable.
but you guys havent seen the first one.
if you've seen that, you'll say this is much much better.
honestly speaking, i've given up the will to please you all a long time ago.
what's the point?
i'm the new appointed secretary today.
i am happy about it.
really, i am really really delighted.
but because of what happened, it means nothing.
fine fine fine.
why should i be upset over spilt milk?
regretting does not make up for anything.
what's over is over.
like it or not, just take it or leave it.

disappointed.

quite angry for myself for giving them a chance.
really really angry at myself for getting myself into this kind of filthy situation.
gotta pick up my own mess.
gotta get everything back right on track.
please-o-please-o-pretty-please with a cherry on top!
let this activity go well.
i solute my vivian for making it a success last year.
i wonder how she did it.
for me, its a miracle if everything works out >.<

exhausted.

seriously, many people are falling sick lately.
some of the people i know are in bed instead of in class.
and i was wondering something...

WHY CANT I BE LIKE THEM?!

i want to be in bed the whole day!
i want to sleep.
i want to rest.
i want to get away from everything.
i dont want to face reality.
it is so lifeless, so not meant to be.

i am tired.
i feel sore.
my whole body aches.
i think i will be joining my friends soon.
i am having a quite-bad sorethroat right now.

do i wish to get well soon?
or do i wish to fall sick sooner?
i rather suffer the pain of being sick then to sleep through my classes.
haih! let's just see whether i will topple one fine day.

to my friends who are sick,
take care, rest more and get well soon!
because, if you two are sick,
i have to clean up our garbage!
dont do that to me!
we are in the same department de lea.
come back to school and tolong laa.. xD
just kidding, get well soon! =)

for myself, hope i can finsih my homework in time and rest more as well >.<

no spirit.

i do not feel right these few days.
feel so angry, so moody, so stupid.
but the problem is,
i dont know why i feel like this.
sorry to those whom i've hurt their feelings.
sorry.

i dont feel like doing anything anymore.
feel like taking a long rest.
want to take a long holiday.
away from everything..

careless me.

i lost one of my birthday present today. oh so shit! and it costs 100++! so so so sad!! so frustrated! was it really my fault? or was it just stupidity? i wouldnt have lost it if nothing happened this morning. haiz. i was quite angry when i found out. really upset! i liked that very very very much! >.< how can i be so stupid! ='(

i think i'm sick ~

i think i am falling sick.
my head aches so badly.
i feel my insides are burning.
i dont feel better no matter how much i rest.
(ps. i just woke up around 20 minutes ago)
i am online searching for my project when i should really be at my tuition right now.
such a failure? haha
maybe.
i think i just need more rest.
and dont think so much! xD
now i have to continue to click on my documents
hope i'll recover soon >.<

Re: i've got a confession ~

From one of my posts about two months ago. i posted this :-

okay! i've got a big-big-big-super-crazy-super-stupid confession to make!!! i beh tahan being in my class with XXX!! (i know i wrote confession, but i have the right to protect the good name of the person i loath! = = ) i really cant accept being in the same class with XXX! XXX is driving me up the wall!! i so so so feel like changing classes! but i know it isnt possible! does anybody knows how hard is it to face XXX everyday to talk crap?! its not like i started the stupid conversation! anyways, you think you are the most prefect thing in the world! come on! i know people who are way way better than you! sometimes i really want to scold you, and say everything that i wanted to say to since the day i started to loath you! if you want me to say your weakness, i can say it non-stop for 3D4N! (im not saying im prefect, my weakness is worse, 10D10N still half way through) if you think you are so prefect, go 4S1 lar! dont stay in this class! make me wanna puke! today, maybe out of anger, i really wanted to change class! it is either you change, or i change! i dont want to face you for two whole years! maybe i wont even mind to change to account, as long i can get as far from you as possible! dont think i can be your good friend! i may be helping you at times, but that does not mean i am your good friend! if you dont change your STUPID attitude of wanting the whole world's attention, i think i'll do something really very soon! my last sentence for this confession, i dreaded the times when i need to cooperate with you!!

Now, i've got something to add:-

i hate her more than ever. never felt so angry about her before!really cant take her anymore!! >.<

so pekchek! ~

why so last minute?
if i am a member, and tell me at this time of the day that i need to attend an activity tomorrow, i dont think i will attend lo.
it is not our fault!
it is all the problems brought by the brains of people who cant think straight.
yea yea yea, good in both academic and co curriculum huh?
not bad, high expectations.
but with what you are doing to the school,
banning all our activities, do you think our school will be good in both academic and co curriculum? i dont think so!
you guys made all the co curriculum bodies pekchek like hell just because of your one sentence!
and you think it is smart?
i say its all rubbish!
stupid rules!

Arggh! == ~

stupid internet connection!
waited for one hour plus already laa..
still cant get to the page i want! T'T
today already really pekchek maa.
still want me to suffer like this ==
why so so so slow?!
i refresh the page a few zillion times already!
so pekchek & so frustrating in school!
hate hate hate! =(
sad sad sad~ haiz ='((((
luckily the line to my blog isnt that slow.
or i'll really go bazooka! >.<